lightning shows. distractions. perspectives. smiles. friendships. forever distracted. by life.
if i could float out of my world right now and watch things through birds eye view, perhaps perspectives would change. perhaps i would see a part of the big picture. i could look over the mrs. sippy river. see myself sitting there. atop the cement wall that very faintly says the words:"life sucks." i'm finding myself lost in emotions here. they are stronger, more powerful. nothing really matters as much as this. being here. experiencing this place that was once covered in water.
then there's the work i do. the st. bernard project is a great organization, i know this. but somehow i find myself wanting to be more. wanting to give more. to see more. to know. more. mas.
we had a disaster relief presentation to attend a few weeks ago. in case a disaster happens, i guess we should know what to do as americorps members. because it is hurricane season after all. matter of fact, hurricane katrina's anniversary is just around the corner. august 29. it happens to fall on two teammates' birthdays. both with the same year: sterling and curtis. anyways the only thing i remember from this presentation is the lone nut. dancing like a freak of nature. then having a follower. then more followers. and suddenly millions of people joined the freak of nature dance bandwagon. and the lone nut became a leader. because of one follower.
sometimes, my head just feels that way. like a lone nut.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
increasing density
the air is dense enough to taste. rain storms come and go. little vultures (aka mosquitos/noisy tree critters) sting and terrorize. city lights gleam through reckless weekends. houses are being rebuilt. our team house is jampacked. and. cable television?
not only is the air dense, but my mind is also compacted with information, experiences, feelings, and a small sense of awareness. there are always so many layers to unravel where ever i go and whomever i meet. perhaps that's why i haven't written for so long. my increasing desire to acknowledge everything around me and take it in for what it is, and the way this desire somewhat reverses itself as i miss so many things in the process. or maybe thats the excuse i give for my laziness. but what i do somehow catch, i will try to relay back to you, along with me.
sooo. im finally in new orleans. aka. the sauna. since my last blog, however, so much has happened in this ameriworld of mine, im not sure i'll be able able to even summarize. i left you at the irvine nature center with half my team gone, ready to get out and get into new york. now i've been there, back to the point, all the way across the country and back home to modesto, california, back to the point again, and in new orleans for three weeks so far with a team of 12. one of which we traded, temporarily. we lost leslie for a few weeks to a team in pensacola, florida working with the oil spill disaster, and, at the same time, gained a member from raven 1, emily clark.
new york seems like ages ago, but it was a great time. i did survive my veganism for 3 weeks, and am a newly converted vegetarian. we got to take vegan cooking classes, play with goats, pigs, and horses (or i guess it was called health inspections) construct a foundation for a house extension, scoop poop (:, hang out with wonderful staff, live in cabin/trailers with an amazing view of the catskill mountains, hike some trail among these mountains, and... gain back all team members except shawn z who was on a fire composite team (phoenix 2) during the time. it was quite an experience. looking back, i wouldnt take back a day of it.
perry point was what it usually is. solace in disguise. it wears this mask of muggy humidity and sterile living space, but really its unplottable land and susquehanna river near the chesapeake is all i need to find joy in my days. we had a few all corps events of "mandatory fun" like the amerilympics and talent show. it was quite enjoyable, mostly because i really adore every person i meet in the corps.
modesto, california. home? something like that. people are the creators of that. "what?!!? you're vegetarian? it's like changing religions or something..." "i made you shrimp, vegetarians eat that right?" rigght. i've forgotten how much i've missed them all. and they are exactly what makes home home.
now im in new orleans. currently sitting in my cot, right next to sterling who is, along with me, dreading work tomorrow. but also, along with me, complaining for the sake of complaining. we really do love working with st. bernard. and with team meganard. mz is missing this weekend because her family is here. it's been nice though, having the whole team here. if i got one thing out of americorps, it would be that you have the infinite ability to befriend every kind of person. i will be forever grateful for this.
new orleans is...well. it's new orleans. it's evident that there was a hurricane here five years ago. it's also evident that the community has come together in a way i have never seen. the attempts to repair this city is painted with the music, the volunteers, the festivals, and mostly, the people. i see shadows and darkness here, but i also see so much color. granted, being here in mid-july/august isn't really the most joyous of times to be in the south, but it has been and currently is opening my eyes to what i didn't know. we saw a movie last week called "when the levees broke," actually we saw part 1 and were interrupted a few times by the people that are living on the other end of our house, (bob, gary, and george)and it described some details about how new orleans was and how it became after the hurricane. the most alarming part to me was seeing the city completely deserted and knowing there were still so many people that were there during the disaster.
anyways, i know there's still so much more to reflect on here, but im currently distracted. plus, this blog is getting too long for my patience.
until next time. which is soon, hopefully. <3
not only is the air dense, but my mind is also compacted with information, experiences, feelings, and a small sense of awareness. there are always so many layers to unravel where ever i go and whomever i meet. perhaps that's why i haven't written for so long. my increasing desire to acknowledge everything around me and take it in for what it is, and the way this desire somewhat reverses itself as i miss so many things in the process. or maybe thats the excuse i give for my laziness. but what i do somehow catch, i will try to relay back to you, along with me.
sooo. im finally in new orleans. aka. the sauna. since my last blog, however, so much has happened in this ameriworld of mine, im not sure i'll be able able to even summarize. i left you at the irvine nature center with half my team gone, ready to get out and get into new york. now i've been there, back to the point, all the way across the country and back home to modesto, california, back to the point again, and in new orleans for three weeks so far with a team of 12. one of which we traded, temporarily. we lost leslie for a few weeks to a team in pensacola, florida working with the oil spill disaster, and, at the same time, gained a member from raven 1, emily clark.
new york seems like ages ago, but it was a great time. i did survive my veganism for 3 weeks, and am a newly converted vegetarian. we got to take vegan cooking classes, play with goats, pigs, and horses (or i guess it was called health inspections) construct a foundation for a house extension, scoop poop (:, hang out with wonderful staff, live in cabin/trailers with an amazing view of the catskill mountains, hike some trail among these mountains, and... gain back all team members except shawn z who was on a fire composite team (phoenix 2) during the time. it was quite an experience. looking back, i wouldnt take back a day of it.
perry point was what it usually is. solace in disguise. it wears this mask of muggy humidity and sterile living space, but really its unplottable land and susquehanna river near the chesapeake is all i need to find joy in my days. we had a few all corps events of "mandatory fun" like the amerilympics and talent show. it was quite enjoyable, mostly because i really adore every person i meet in the corps.
modesto, california. home? something like that. people are the creators of that. "what?!!? you're vegetarian? it's like changing religions or something..." "i made you shrimp, vegetarians eat that right?" rigght. i've forgotten how much i've missed them all. and they are exactly what makes home home.
now im in new orleans. currently sitting in my cot, right next to sterling who is, along with me, dreading work tomorrow. but also, along with me, complaining for the sake of complaining. we really do love working with st. bernard. and with team meganard. mz is missing this weekend because her family is here. it's been nice though, having the whole team here. if i got one thing out of americorps, it would be that you have the infinite ability to befriend every kind of person. i will be forever grateful for this.
new orleans is...well. it's new orleans. it's evident that there was a hurricane here five years ago. it's also evident that the community has come together in a way i have never seen. the attempts to repair this city is painted with the music, the volunteers, the festivals, and mostly, the people. i see shadows and darkness here, but i also see so much color. granted, being here in mid-july/august isn't really the most joyous of times to be in the south, but it has been and currently is opening my eyes to what i didn't know. we saw a movie last week called "when the levees broke," actually we saw part 1 and were interrupted a few times by the people that are living on the other end of our house, (bob, gary, and george)and it described some details about how new orleans was and how it became after the hurricane. the most alarming part to me was seeing the city completely deserted and knowing there were still so many people that were there during the disaster.
anyways, i know there's still so much more to reflect on here, but im currently distracted. plus, this blog is getting too long for my patience.
until next time. which is soon, hopefully. <3
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