giants are winners. as of yesterday...world series winners. it makes me somewhat homesick. raven six are also winners. in many aspects, as far as i'm concerned. but finally, we got a prize for something. we won best group costume in our halloween 10k dressed as the smash brothers. and we all finished running the whole way through. that's much more than a winner to me. our characters included: (i had to look this up) Link (Sterling), Samus (Rachel), Jigglypuff (Clarky), Fox (Nick), Donkey Kong (Steve), Yoshi (Shawn), Peach (MZ), Sheik (Beth), Ike? (Leslie), Sonic (Jon), Diddy Kong (me).
speaking of halloween, i've never had a better creepily delicious meal...or let alone felt that excited about the holiday. it was almost flawless. (minus the fact that curtis wasn't there to celebrate with us.) also...i need to lay off the chocolate. either that, or it needs to stop tempting me. i blame beth. and her generosity.
my love for this team grows each day. i know it's a little cheesy, but i did get the best end of the deal when it comes to my americorps experience. really, it's about perspective. and the way i see it, everyone gets the best end of the deal if they look at it in the right perspective.
two weeks and two days and i'm literally on a plane back to california. what then? my prospects are still hazy, as they usually are. we just finished a conference the weekend before last, it took the last bit of energy out of many, but was well worth it. i finally got to see the makings of this conference i've been vaguely preparing for. and i couldn't be more happy to be there. the youth initiative end went well. open mic night was a success. especially after a delirious nick took the mic just as everyone was getting up to leave, and called out one of the marion institute workers on detox. wolf 5 helped out a lot, and were a nice change of company.
i know that i don't get into the knitty details in most of these blogs, but it's because i just lose them. every moment an important detail of life and where i am is lost in my new thought. so here i am, sitting in the manor of sacred hearts (as rachel, steve, and leslie just killed the battery of our support vehicle while hauling metal around), wondering where i'll be in three weeks. in three months. in three years. i guess i never was much of a planner.
if life weren't so contradictory i'd say i wasn't excited to go home. but i am. i miss those people of mine. but that might mean that i'm excited to leave. im not. funny how things seem to work out that way.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
fifteen
minutes. yup, that clock is ticking and lunch is heading it's way out the door. it's been a while, i know. but internet usage is hard to come by these days. or maybe im just distracted by settlers of catan, or something like that.
scorch my face, and i'll take the burn. just don't tell me it's almost over. 5 weeks into round four, i find myself in the mist of a hustling office getting ready for their most important conference of the year: the Connecting for Change: Bioneers by the Bay conference in New Bedford, Massachusetts.
Our team has "come full circle" as some might say, as we arrived into our 4 bedroom 5 star new home in Wareham, Massachusetts. they might be speaking of the weather though, because all i see is full change. that's the only consistency i feel life needs. three of us work with sacred hearts, cleaning labryinths and such things. eight of us work behind the scenes, in a think tank of a non-profit environmental/social justice promoting office. the network of nonprofits. or something like that. in recent news, wolf 5 has joined us for 2 weeks, curtis is gone this round for fire composite, we lost rachel for ten days, but she'll be back soon. we also just lost nick for the weekend. also beth will leave us for a bit soon enough, and so our team for the weekend is somewhat dispersed. for the weekend, that is.
i have five minutes, of the fifteen or so i allowed myself for this update. but now, i must run along and make signs, and fulfill my role as "the sign girl" here at the Marion Institute. jon just got back from dd. and is bragging about $1.05. okok. 3 minutes. tickety tock.
tonight: AHA festival. face-painting. more fun.
until next time, i suppose.
<3
scorch my face, and i'll take the burn. just don't tell me it's almost over. 5 weeks into round four, i find myself in the mist of a hustling office getting ready for their most important conference of the year: the Connecting for Change: Bioneers by the Bay conference in New Bedford, Massachusetts.
Our team has "come full circle" as some might say, as we arrived into our 4 bedroom 5 star new home in Wareham, Massachusetts. they might be speaking of the weather though, because all i see is full change. that's the only consistency i feel life needs. three of us work with sacred hearts, cleaning labryinths and such things. eight of us work behind the scenes, in a think tank of a non-profit environmental/social justice promoting office. the network of nonprofits. or something like that. in recent news, wolf 5 has joined us for 2 weeks, curtis is gone this round for fire composite, we lost rachel for ten days, but she'll be back soon. we also just lost nick for the weekend. also beth will leave us for a bit soon enough, and so our team for the weekend is somewhat dispersed. for the weekend, that is.
i have five minutes, of the fifteen or so i allowed myself for this update. but now, i must run along and make signs, and fulfill my role as "the sign girl" here at the Marion Institute. jon just got back from dd. and is bragging about $1.05. okok. 3 minutes. tickety tock.
tonight: AHA festival. face-painting. more fun.
until next time, i suppose.
<3
Sunday, August 22, 2010
lone nut
lightning shows. distractions. perspectives. smiles. friendships. forever distracted. by life.
if i could float out of my world right now and watch things through birds eye view, perhaps perspectives would change. perhaps i would see a part of the big picture. i could look over the mrs. sippy river. see myself sitting there. atop the cement wall that very faintly says the words:"life sucks." i'm finding myself lost in emotions here. they are stronger, more powerful. nothing really matters as much as this. being here. experiencing this place that was once covered in water.
then there's the work i do. the st. bernard project is a great organization, i know this. but somehow i find myself wanting to be more. wanting to give more. to see more. to know. more. mas.
we had a disaster relief presentation to attend a few weeks ago. in case a disaster happens, i guess we should know what to do as americorps members. because it is hurricane season after all. matter of fact, hurricane katrina's anniversary is just around the corner. august 29. it happens to fall on two teammates' birthdays. both with the same year: sterling and curtis. anyways the only thing i remember from this presentation is the lone nut. dancing like a freak of nature. then having a follower. then more followers. and suddenly millions of people joined the freak of nature dance bandwagon. and the lone nut became a leader. because of one follower.
sometimes, my head just feels that way. like a lone nut.
if i could float out of my world right now and watch things through birds eye view, perhaps perspectives would change. perhaps i would see a part of the big picture. i could look over the mrs. sippy river. see myself sitting there. atop the cement wall that very faintly says the words:"life sucks." i'm finding myself lost in emotions here. they are stronger, more powerful. nothing really matters as much as this. being here. experiencing this place that was once covered in water.
then there's the work i do. the st. bernard project is a great organization, i know this. but somehow i find myself wanting to be more. wanting to give more. to see more. to know. more. mas.
we had a disaster relief presentation to attend a few weeks ago. in case a disaster happens, i guess we should know what to do as americorps members. because it is hurricane season after all. matter of fact, hurricane katrina's anniversary is just around the corner. august 29. it happens to fall on two teammates' birthdays. both with the same year: sterling and curtis. anyways the only thing i remember from this presentation is the lone nut. dancing like a freak of nature. then having a follower. then more followers. and suddenly millions of people joined the freak of nature dance bandwagon. and the lone nut became a leader. because of one follower.
sometimes, my head just feels that way. like a lone nut.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
increasing density
the air is dense enough to taste. rain storms come and go. little vultures (aka mosquitos/noisy tree critters) sting and terrorize. city lights gleam through reckless weekends. houses are being rebuilt. our team house is jampacked. and. cable television?
not only is the air dense, but my mind is also compacted with information, experiences, feelings, and a small sense of awareness. there are always so many layers to unravel where ever i go and whomever i meet. perhaps that's why i haven't written for so long. my increasing desire to acknowledge everything around me and take it in for what it is, and the way this desire somewhat reverses itself as i miss so many things in the process. or maybe thats the excuse i give for my laziness. but what i do somehow catch, i will try to relay back to you, along with me.
sooo. im finally in new orleans. aka. the sauna. since my last blog, however, so much has happened in this ameriworld of mine, im not sure i'll be able able to even summarize. i left you at the irvine nature center with half my team gone, ready to get out and get into new york. now i've been there, back to the point, all the way across the country and back home to modesto, california, back to the point again, and in new orleans for three weeks so far with a team of 12. one of which we traded, temporarily. we lost leslie for a few weeks to a team in pensacola, florida working with the oil spill disaster, and, at the same time, gained a member from raven 1, emily clark.
new york seems like ages ago, but it was a great time. i did survive my veganism for 3 weeks, and am a newly converted vegetarian. we got to take vegan cooking classes, play with goats, pigs, and horses (or i guess it was called health inspections) construct a foundation for a house extension, scoop poop (:, hang out with wonderful staff, live in cabin/trailers with an amazing view of the catskill mountains, hike some trail among these mountains, and... gain back all team members except shawn z who was on a fire composite team (phoenix 2) during the time. it was quite an experience. looking back, i wouldnt take back a day of it.
perry point was what it usually is. solace in disguise. it wears this mask of muggy humidity and sterile living space, but really its unplottable land and susquehanna river near the chesapeake is all i need to find joy in my days. we had a few all corps events of "mandatory fun" like the amerilympics and talent show. it was quite enjoyable, mostly because i really adore every person i meet in the corps.
modesto, california. home? something like that. people are the creators of that. "what?!!? you're vegetarian? it's like changing religions or something..." "i made you shrimp, vegetarians eat that right?" rigght. i've forgotten how much i've missed them all. and they are exactly what makes home home.
now im in new orleans. currently sitting in my cot, right next to sterling who is, along with me, dreading work tomorrow. but also, along with me, complaining for the sake of complaining. we really do love working with st. bernard. and with team meganard. mz is missing this weekend because her family is here. it's been nice though, having the whole team here. if i got one thing out of americorps, it would be that you have the infinite ability to befriend every kind of person. i will be forever grateful for this.
new orleans is...well. it's new orleans. it's evident that there was a hurricane here five years ago. it's also evident that the community has come together in a way i have never seen. the attempts to repair this city is painted with the music, the volunteers, the festivals, and mostly, the people. i see shadows and darkness here, but i also see so much color. granted, being here in mid-july/august isn't really the most joyous of times to be in the south, but it has been and currently is opening my eyes to what i didn't know. we saw a movie last week called "when the levees broke," actually we saw part 1 and were interrupted a few times by the people that are living on the other end of our house, (bob, gary, and george)and it described some details about how new orleans was and how it became after the hurricane. the most alarming part to me was seeing the city completely deserted and knowing there were still so many people that were there during the disaster.
anyways, i know there's still so much more to reflect on here, but im currently distracted. plus, this blog is getting too long for my patience.
until next time. which is soon, hopefully. <3
not only is the air dense, but my mind is also compacted with information, experiences, feelings, and a small sense of awareness. there are always so many layers to unravel where ever i go and whomever i meet. perhaps that's why i haven't written for so long. my increasing desire to acknowledge everything around me and take it in for what it is, and the way this desire somewhat reverses itself as i miss so many things in the process. or maybe thats the excuse i give for my laziness. but what i do somehow catch, i will try to relay back to you, along with me.
sooo. im finally in new orleans. aka. the sauna. since my last blog, however, so much has happened in this ameriworld of mine, im not sure i'll be able able to even summarize. i left you at the irvine nature center with half my team gone, ready to get out and get into new york. now i've been there, back to the point, all the way across the country and back home to modesto, california, back to the point again, and in new orleans for three weeks so far with a team of 12. one of which we traded, temporarily. we lost leslie for a few weeks to a team in pensacola, florida working with the oil spill disaster, and, at the same time, gained a member from raven 1, emily clark.
new york seems like ages ago, but it was a great time. i did survive my veganism for 3 weeks, and am a newly converted vegetarian. we got to take vegan cooking classes, play with goats, pigs, and horses (or i guess it was called health inspections) construct a foundation for a house extension, scoop poop (:, hang out with wonderful staff, live in cabin/trailers with an amazing view of the catskill mountains, hike some trail among these mountains, and... gain back all team members except shawn z who was on a fire composite team (phoenix 2) during the time. it was quite an experience. looking back, i wouldnt take back a day of it.
perry point was what it usually is. solace in disguise. it wears this mask of muggy humidity and sterile living space, but really its unplottable land and susquehanna river near the chesapeake is all i need to find joy in my days. we had a few all corps events of "mandatory fun" like the amerilympics and talent show. it was quite enjoyable, mostly because i really adore every person i meet in the corps.
modesto, california. home? something like that. people are the creators of that. "what?!!? you're vegetarian? it's like changing religions or something..." "i made you shrimp, vegetarians eat that right?" rigght. i've forgotten how much i've missed them all. and they are exactly what makes home home.
now im in new orleans. currently sitting in my cot, right next to sterling who is, along with me, dreading work tomorrow. but also, along with me, complaining for the sake of complaining. we really do love working with st. bernard. and with team meganard. mz is missing this weekend because her family is here. it's been nice though, having the whole team here. if i got one thing out of americorps, it would be that you have the infinite ability to befriend every kind of person. i will be forever grateful for this.
new orleans is...well. it's new orleans. it's evident that there was a hurricane here five years ago. it's also evident that the community has come together in a way i have never seen. the attempts to repair this city is painted with the music, the volunteers, the festivals, and mostly, the people. i see shadows and darkness here, but i also see so much color. granted, being here in mid-july/august isn't really the most joyous of times to be in the south, but it has been and currently is opening my eyes to what i didn't know. we saw a movie last week called "when the levees broke," actually we saw part 1 and were interrupted a few times by the people that are living on the other end of our house, (bob, gary, and george)and it described some details about how new orleans was and how it became after the hurricane. the most alarming part to me was seeing the city completely deserted and knowing there were still so many people that were there during the disaster.
anyways, i know there's still so much more to reflect on here, but im currently distracted. plus, this blog is getting too long for my patience.
until next time. which is soon, hopefully. <3
Thursday, June 3, 2010
skewed vision
a turtle is naked without its shell. a veil lifted, a mystery revealed. there are so many veils to lift, so many truths to unfold. sometimes i still wish i had that shell, other times, the bareness is what i need to keep moving.
our last day in the nature center. and everyone is sound asleep. no more tents, or thunderstorms pounding on tents, or birds waking us up at 5:30 am, or planting trees in 93 degrees. none of that. just a night in the nature center, a half day of work, and a trip back to the point. and then neeeeew york. our traveling continues, and i continue to peer through that tainted glass, making sense of my skewed vision.
today emily and i had our second CAP event of our round 2 spike. if i haven't explained earlier, all our team members have a specialty role or two that they do outside of the work day to help the team and Americorps progress. The CAP representatives are the people who reach out to the surrounding community to let them know what Americorps is all about. today's event was at an entrepreneur school for poverty-stricken and special-ed students. what we attended was a last-day-of-school cook-out. what we also attended was a lifted veil.
"how many of you have known someone who's in jail?" the lady with the mic asked. it was an interesting question. and more interesting was the murmur i heard to my side, "who wouldn't raise their hand to this question?" well, maybe me. but i know im just a turtle, turtles dont count. these students were part of a school system that supported peer on peer counseling. they had programs like a "step dance instead of violence" class that helped the students stay out of trouble and graduate. they were so full of life and inspiring to me. the way they danced, smiled, and joked. i felt like i was in a world that i have never known. a world full of people with completely different lives then what i've been raised around.
i don't know where this is taking me now, but i know im exactly where i should be. i know that moments like these are timeless. i know that even if we only got nine students to sign that paper of ours to join Americorps, i was going to do something like this. something to make a room full of people who know someone in jail, smile genuinely and dance in bliss. if nothing else, i'd at least like that on my bucket list.
our last day in the nature center. and everyone is sound asleep. no more tents, or thunderstorms pounding on tents, or birds waking us up at 5:30 am, or planting trees in 93 degrees. none of that. just a night in the nature center, a half day of work, and a trip back to the point. and then neeeeew york. our traveling continues, and i continue to peer through that tainted glass, making sense of my skewed vision.
today emily and i had our second CAP event of our round 2 spike. if i haven't explained earlier, all our team members have a specialty role or two that they do outside of the work day to help the team and Americorps progress. The CAP representatives are the people who reach out to the surrounding community to let them know what Americorps is all about. today's event was at an entrepreneur school for poverty-stricken and special-ed students. what we attended was a last-day-of-school cook-out. what we also attended was a lifted veil.
"how many of you have known someone who's in jail?" the lady with the mic asked. it was an interesting question. and more interesting was the murmur i heard to my side, "who wouldn't raise their hand to this question?" well, maybe me. but i know im just a turtle, turtles dont count. these students were part of a school system that supported peer on peer counseling. they had programs like a "step dance instead of violence" class that helped the students stay out of trouble and graduate. they were so full of life and inspiring to me. the way they danced, smiled, and joked. i felt like i was in a world that i have never known. a world full of people with completely different lives then what i've been raised around.
i don't know where this is taking me now, but i know im exactly where i should be. i know that moments like these are timeless. i know that even if we only got nine students to sign that paper of ours to join Americorps, i was going to do something like this. something to make a room full of people who know someone in jail, smile genuinely and dance in bliss. if nothing else, i'd at least like that on my bucket list.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
turtle.turtle.
i saw a lot of them today. along with frogs, snakes, and the place that looks like the beginning of the world. and we ran down it like it was the first mark a person had ever made on that land. i know it isn't true, but the euphoria was worth the lies. i wonder how many times that happens in this world.
raven six will be spending the next three weeks at the irvine nature center in owens mills, maryland. (very close to baltimore). as of now, im sitting in a room with a water tank and a turtle, dragons (of course), an overhead projector playing dexter, internet service (!!!), tents in a woodsy clearing outside (our sleeping area), and civilization five minutes away. but who needs cvilization anyway? i do feel like im in a mixture of the natural world and the civilized world right now. the nature center has a sole mission to educate people about the environment. my mission is to educate myself.
we went from a team of 12 to a team of 7 in a couple weeks. paintrain (who joined our team for a week)left us a while ago to join the navy, shawn is on a fire composite team during this spike, nick (who wasn't with us last round because he was on a fire composite team) got called to disaster in mississippi, and sterling and curtis were called to disaster in the flooding of tennessee. their presense is dearly missed.
tomorrow i plant trees. i'm pretty excited. i hope its along an untouched meadow. because then i'll be a fortunate part of history. i cant really think straight anymore. soooo...i'll keep going, keep growing, keep smiling (on the inside). destination is still unknown.
raven six will be spending the next three weeks at the irvine nature center in owens mills, maryland. (very close to baltimore). as of now, im sitting in a room with a water tank and a turtle, dragons (of course), an overhead projector playing dexter, internet service (!!!), tents in a woodsy clearing outside (our sleeping area), and civilization five minutes away. but who needs cvilization anyway? i do feel like im in a mixture of the natural world and the civilized world right now. the nature center has a sole mission to educate people about the environment. my mission is to educate myself.
we went from a team of 12 to a team of 7 in a couple weeks. paintrain (who joined our team for a week)left us a while ago to join the navy, shawn is on a fire composite team during this spike, nick (who wasn't with us last round because he was on a fire composite team) got called to disaster in mississippi, and sterling and curtis were called to disaster in the flooding of tennessee. their presense is dearly missed.
tomorrow i plant trees. i'm pretty excited. i hope its along an untouched meadow. because then i'll be a fortunate part of history. i cant really think straight anymore. soooo...i'll keep going, keep growing, keep smiling (on the inside). destination is still unknown.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
close to transition
transition is an interesting word. it marks that phase that most like to skip and be butterflies. i, on the other hand, savor it's long moments of self-realization. i could live forever in transition.
here in the ameriworld, transition is a small phase between spikes. and since our present spike is coming to an end this coming friday, transition is on its way. i know i've been extremely horrible at updating my past month or two, but i will try to recap a few things. maybe until i get sick of recapping.
we are now in our final camp site in hockessin, deleware. im sitting in a science tech building where our showers and internet are located...right across from our living area. this building is 100% green and leed approved. i suppose i should be more excited than i am about this, considering what i've learned about green buildings. also, considering the last place we were in, this one is definitely living in luxury.
the cottage is where we stayed last week, and two weeks before. it was our spot for a horror plot in our team journal story (although i don't think anyone's came around to actually writing the specifics of this horror story), and not the warmest of places to stay in. i guess i could see worse. or maybe live in worse. in this camp, i learned to arch (yes im archery certified now, if you need a teacher im here for you. and yes i had to take the certification test twice. annnnd i could tell you the test was ridiculous, but so would be you asking me to teach you how to arch). i also helped install some insulation under a home, build a fence backyard, mess up and re-do part of a house foundation, paint the inside of a boathouse (which had the greatest view of the chesapeake bay), and cleaned some brush here or there. basically, i was brushpile, the cat ranger bob named me after. the whatever cat. ranger bob, aka bob, is our spike's number one character. he's our sponsor and has been with us for the past 8 weeks, and also referenced in many ways that only raven 6 could understand, for the past 8 weeks. needless to say, we've been working hard.
last weekend we learned to canoe and kayak (but not from the expert, ranger bob). it was a great experience. i felt almost like pocahontas. when we were doing rescue scenarios, sterling and i tipped our canoe over with the one we were trying to rescue. so we ended up also needing to be rescued. soooo, my point here...please do ask me to teach you how to canoe as well. i will try and save you if you drown.
there's so much to say, and now that i've gotten started i need to finish. i went to new york. pictures are coming soon to a facebook near you? the company was good (sterling, victoria, curtis, kareem, mike), the hostel was a-mazing, and so...the trip was too.
it's getting late. my fabrications are running short now. i suppose i use that word a lot. i'll call it a night. and i miss you all back home. especially my mama and her cooking. <3
here in the ameriworld, transition is a small phase between spikes. and since our present spike is coming to an end this coming friday, transition is on its way. i know i've been extremely horrible at updating my past month or two, but i will try to recap a few things. maybe until i get sick of recapping.
we are now in our final camp site in hockessin, deleware. im sitting in a science tech building where our showers and internet are located...right across from our living area. this building is 100% green and leed approved. i suppose i should be more excited than i am about this, considering what i've learned about green buildings. also, considering the last place we were in, this one is definitely living in luxury.
the cottage is where we stayed last week, and two weeks before. it was our spot for a horror plot in our team journal story (although i don't think anyone's came around to actually writing the specifics of this horror story), and not the warmest of places to stay in. i guess i could see worse. or maybe live in worse. in this camp, i learned to arch (yes im archery certified now, if you need a teacher im here for you. and yes i had to take the certification test twice. annnnd i could tell you the test was ridiculous, but so would be you asking me to teach you how to arch). i also helped install some insulation under a home, build a fence backyard, mess up and re-do part of a house foundation, paint the inside of a boathouse (which had the greatest view of the chesapeake bay), and cleaned some brush here or there. basically, i was brushpile, the cat ranger bob named me after. the whatever cat. ranger bob, aka bob, is our spike's number one character. he's our sponsor and has been with us for the past 8 weeks, and also referenced in many ways that only raven 6 could understand, for the past 8 weeks. needless to say, we've been working hard.
last weekend we learned to canoe and kayak (but not from the expert, ranger bob). it was a great experience. i felt almost like pocahontas. when we were doing rescue scenarios, sterling and i tipped our canoe over with the one we were trying to rescue. so we ended up also needing to be rescued. soooo, my point here...please do ask me to teach you how to canoe as well. i will try and save you if you drown.
there's so much to say, and now that i've gotten started i need to finish. i went to new york. pictures are coming soon to a facebook near you? the company was good (sterling, victoria, curtis, kareem, mike), the hostel was a-mazing, and so...the trip was too.
it's getting late. my fabrications are running short now. i suppose i use that word a lot. i'll call it a night. and i miss you all back home. especially my mama and her cooking. <3
Saturday, March 20, 2010
fabrications
oh no! blogging has turned into a chore. i guess i made it that way. well, because of laziness, there will be no capital letters today. because i like it that way. and the cause of disorder is order.
i feel like blogging has turned into a fabrication of reality. something i need to do, but the thoughts aren't completely real. well, not like a thought vacuum, anyway.
now that that's out of the way, i would like to report how things have been going thus far. i'm currently sitting across from steven michael hendersen and next to sterling thomason at the perryville library. in case these specifics matter, we've been spending a lot of time together...and guess what? no storm yet. and i'm fine with peaceful skies. they have been with me for the past week on our first spike journey to a girl scouts camp in denton, maryland. soon to be a journey to earleville, maryland, then to fruitland, maryland, and lastly...we will indeed leave the state, and spend some time in hockessin, deleware.
so far, sterling and i have been painting, i suppose they want to make pros out of us because we haven't been doing much else besides that. i'm also not sure if their plan is working quite as smoothly as they'd hoped. but i am glad to be beautifying the girl scouts area, and feel highly privileged to be there in the woods, getting things done. for america.
today is the first free day i've had in about 3 weeks. all weekdays have been filled with preparation for spike, mini spikes, or actual work days. all weekends have been full of ISP's, which have new additions. besides the loading dock, i have helped in a wheelchair basketball tournament at the VA, helped trap cats so they could get vaccination shots, and helped clean up the world's biggest flower show in philadelphia. which was pretty cool to watch for an hour or so. the variety is nice, and so are the people i have been working with so far. so i'm feeling a bit lucky, if you believe in that stuff.
anyways, sorry for not updating as much as i should, i'm guessing i might slowly get worse at this, but i'll try not to. i will be playing frolf (frisbee golf) for the first time today. and it sounds exciting?
<3
i feel like blogging has turned into a fabrication of reality. something i need to do, but the thoughts aren't completely real. well, not like a thought vacuum, anyway.
now that that's out of the way, i would like to report how things have been going thus far. i'm currently sitting across from steven michael hendersen and next to sterling thomason at the perryville library. in case these specifics matter, we've been spending a lot of time together...and guess what? no storm yet. and i'm fine with peaceful skies. they have been with me for the past week on our first spike journey to a girl scouts camp in denton, maryland. soon to be a journey to earleville, maryland, then to fruitland, maryland, and lastly...we will indeed leave the state, and spend some time in hockessin, deleware.
so far, sterling and i have been painting, i suppose they want to make pros out of us because we haven't been doing much else besides that. i'm also not sure if their plan is working quite as smoothly as they'd hoped. but i am glad to be beautifying the girl scouts area, and feel highly privileged to be there in the woods, getting things done. for america.
today is the first free day i've had in about 3 weeks. all weekdays have been filled with preparation for spike, mini spikes, or actual work days. all weekends have been full of ISP's, which have new additions. besides the loading dock, i have helped in a wheelchair basketball tournament at the VA, helped trap cats so they could get vaccination shots, and helped clean up the world's biggest flower show in philadelphia. which was pretty cool to watch for an hour or so. the variety is nice, and so are the people i have been working with so far. so i'm feeling a bit lucky, if you believe in that stuff.
anyways, sorry for not updating as much as i should, i'm guessing i might slowly get worse at this, but i'll try not to. i will be playing frolf (frisbee golf) for the first time today. and it sounds exciting?
<3
Saturday, February 27, 2010
The Power of Discomfort
Words continue to seep through my ears and gather what it seems to understand. I'm forever learning while I'm here... while I'm anywhere. There are so many different people to see, meet, and understand. Because seeing never really cuts it.
It's third week of training and life at "the Point" is getting busy and a bit tiring. Not that I'm not enjoying it, because I am. Our physical training is at 6am, and if you know me, you know I'm not a morning person. But morning views are gorgeous, and the small town for war vets combined with a massive variety of people from all across America is worth the discomfort.
Corps training, however, is a different kind of discomfort. One I can't seem to keep awake doing. We have gone through multiple lectures on Peaceful Communication, Shelter Training, Tool Training, and various other things like an "Anti-Drugs and Alcohol" speech. Though they seem to have a sole purpose, so far most of these training sessions have oddly disappeared from my memory. Although, I can confidently say I am CPR and First Aide certified once again.
We have a new team, and I'm now one of 10 members of Raven 6. As much as I liked my old POD (our temporary team), this new team is also exciting. Our team leader seems like a "stay-on-top-of-things" kind of person, and I hope that influences me to stay on top of things, instead of the "dwell-and-drift-into-multiple-things" kind of person I am. Some quality team time has been spent like bowling, lazer tag, t-shirt making, ISP's (Individual Service Projects), and our soon to be mini spike. Our first time out of 9H for team service work. We will be working at a Girl Scout camp out in Denton, Maryland making sure they have a safe and enjoyable place to stay when they start their camp. I'm not sure of the exact details on this, so I'll stop at that.
Tonight is rather peaceful, only because it's a Saturday and I can finally sleep in tomorrow. I went to a Coptic Church last Sunday with my two roommates and the experience was different, in a nice way. It was a one hour drive, so this Sunday is probably a different story. Especially after a tiring day of ISP today, which was my first 8 hours of individual service. We went to a loading dock in Baltimore where they sell used housing supplies for a small amount of money. Like the Goodwill of Home Depot. I think the dust there is what finally got me sick, but I'm happy I went. Our team leader, Beth, asked us how we felt after completing our first ISP, and I quoted the Loading Dock quote by saying "It felt good to 'make a home out of what other people throw away.'" Although that isn't what we did, we were just organizing and stocking, it was interesting to me that you actually could do it. And I think it's places like that, their relationship with the quote they had, and the connection it gave me, that make me realize how important it is to be here. How important it is to serve...even if it means making myself uncomfortable. Because usually, discomfort is what empowers you.
It's third week of training and life at "the Point" is getting busy and a bit tiring. Not that I'm not enjoying it, because I am. Our physical training is at 6am, and if you know me, you know I'm not a morning person. But morning views are gorgeous, and the small town for war vets combined with a massive variety of people from all across America is worth the discomfort.
Corps training, however, is a different kind of discomfort. One I can't seem to keep awake doing. We have gone through multiple lectures on Peaceful Communication, Shelter Training, Tool Training, and various other things like an "Anti-Drugs and Alcohol" speech. Though they seem to have a sole purpose, so far most of these training sessions have oddly disappeared from my memory. Although, I can confidently say I am CPR and First Aide certified once again.
We have a new team, and I'm now one of 10 members of Raven 6. As much as I liked my old POD (our temporary team), this new team is also exciting. Our team leader seems like a "stay-on-top-of-things" kind of person, and I hope that influences me to stay on top of things, instead of the "dwell-and-drift-into-multiple-things" kind of person I am. Some quality team time has been spent like bowling, lazer tag, t-shirt making, ISP's (Individual Service Projects), and our soon to be mini spike. Our first time out of 9H for team service work. We will be working at a Girl Scout camp out in Denton, Maryland making sure they have a safe and enjoyable place to stay when they start their camp. I'm not sure of the exact details on this, so I'll stop at that.
Tonight is rather peaceful, only because it's a Saturday and I can finally sleep in tomorrow. I went to a Coptic Church last Sunday with my two roommates and the experience was different, in a nice way. It was a one hour drive, so this Sunday is probably a different story. Especially after a tiring day of ISP today, which was my first 8 hours of individual service. We went to a loading dock in Baltimore where they sell used housing supplies for a small amount of money. Like the Goodwill of Home Depot. I think the dust there is what finally got me sick, but I'm happy I went. Our team leader, Beth, asked us how we felt after completing our first ISP, and I quoted the Loading Dock quote by saying "It felt good to 'make a home out of what other people throw away.'" Although that isn't what we did, we were just organizing and stocking, it was interesting to me that you actually could do it. And I think it's places like that, their relationship with the quote they had, and the connection it gave me, that make me realize how important it is to be here. How important it is to serve...even if it means making myself uncomfortable. Because usually, discomfort is what empowers you.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Wolf Den
I made it to the wolf den without getting lost. Maybe it was because my roommate was with me. Us 9H dormers live about a mile away from the villagers...where the computer lab is with internet service. It's an old home built in the 1920's. The whole Wolf, Ravens, Badgers idea really just makes me feel like I live at Hogwarts. Maybe I'm wrong. (I'm a Raven...just in case you'd like to know.)
I've been here for almost 3 days now and we haven't been up to much yet. Training hasn't started quite yet, no physicals have been done, yesterday we got stuck indoors because of a snowstorm...but I have never met so many new and interesting people at once. I have a group "Raven 1" that is tentative. Meaning, they aren't permanent. but the more we are together, the more appealing each one of them seems to become. I guess that's how people are in general. Especially in a place where you know no one and everyone is ready and willing to meet you.
It seems that things will always be up in the air while I'm here. We just have to grab what we can, and go with it. Which is why they want us to be flexible. And adapting to it, so far, has been exhilarating. We'll see how it lasts. I've never seen or shoveled snow. Never lived so far away from home. Never lived in a hospital that's turned into a dorm, and with 7 girls. I know things will change, and I'm ok with it. Being open to change is the most exciting part about being here.
Our group leaders wanted us to get to know our group, so one of the activities she assigned was to bring three things you can't live without. Which, most supposed, would be things you brought with you. I immediately thought of objects like my journal or colored pencils I brought along. But, my roommate started to make me think of it a little more. I began to analyze "live," and thought of things like food and water, warmth and oxygen. These are things the general population needs to survive. To live without them, you will physically die. But what about your spirit? Is this not what really gives you life? Or feeling at all? Perhaps, if you read this, you can share what three things you can't live without are.
To everyone back home...thanks for all your love and support. You are definitely something I can't live without. Spiritually and physically.
I've been here for almost 3 days now and we haven't been up to much yet. Training hasn't started quite yet, no physicals have been done, yesterday we got stuck indoors because of a snowstorm...but I have never met so many new and interesting people at once. I have a group "Raven 1" that is tentative. Meaning, they aren't permanent. but the more we are together, the more appealing each one of them seems to become. I guess that's how people are in general. Especially in a place where you know no one and everyone is ready and willing to meet you.
It seems that things will always be up in the air while I'm here. We just have to grab what we can, and go with it. Which is why they want us to be flexible. And adapting to it, so far, has been exhilarating. We'll see how it lasts. I've never seen or shoveled snow. Never lived so far away from home. Never lived in a hospital that's turned into a dorm, and with 7 girls. I know things will change, and I'm ok with it. Being open to change is the most exciting part about being here.
Our group leaders wanted us to get to know our group, so one of the activities she assigned was to bring three things you can't live without. Which, most supposed, would be things you brought with you. I immediately thought of objects like my journal or colored pencils I brought along. But, my roommate started to make me think of it a little more. I began to analyze "live," and thought of things like food and water, warmth and oxygen. These are things the general population needs to survive. To live without them, you will physically die. But what about your spirit? Is this not what really gives you life? Or feeling at all? Perhaps, if you read this, you can share what three things you can't live without are.
To everyone back home...thanks for all your love and support. You are definitely something I can't live without. Spiritually and physically.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Ready Will Find Me
My room is a mess-full of random winter warm things I'll probably layer myself with. California really doesn't teach one to know what to expect in Maryland. I'm having anxiety dreams. I've got a million things running through my head. A million people I know I'll miss. I know I won't be ready, but reality tells me, ready will find me.
My last days of tutoring were last week. The goodbyes were surprisingly hard. The kids that always give me a hard time, seemed sad that I was leaving. And I knew I,too, would miss they're silliness. Tristan and Jesse weren't the easiest of kids to have together, but they were definitely entertaining. And not to mention the girls that melt my heart, with their hugs and sad goodbyes. I only stayed with them for a month or so, and it seems like they were the real teachers.
I'm encompassed by love here. What will I find there? What will become of a turtle that leaves its shell? Discoveries? The "Naked Truth." Maybe.
I hear Belky watching Seinfeld downstairs. Home from work. And I remember what he told me last week. "It's nice to sit in a bagel shop and just watch people. You get this good feeling. Like there's people out there with a world completely different than yours." Yes. And I think that's exactly what I'm preparing my mind for. The variety, the differences, the world. Not my world, but theirs.
I've been feeling quite complacent...so to anyone that feels ignored or neglected by me at the moment, please forgive me. I can't help my weird communicative nature.
Until next time I suppose. <3
My last days of tutoring were last week. The goodbyes were surprisingly hard. The kids that always give me a hard time, seemed sad that I was leaving. And I knew I,too, would miss they're silliness. Tristan and Jesse weren't the easiest of kids to have together, but they were definitely entertaining. And not to mention the girls that melt my heart, with their hugs and sad goodbyes. I only stayed with them for a month or so, and it seems like they were the real teachers.
I'm encompassed by love here. What will I find there? What will become of a turtle that leaves its shell? Discoveries? The "Naked Truth." Maybe.
I hear Belky watching Seinfeld downstairs. Home from work. And I remember what he told me last week. "It's nice to sit in a bagel shop and just watch people. You get this good feeling. Like there's people out there with a world completely different than yours." Yes. And I think that's exactly what I'm preparing my mind for. The variety, the differences, the world. Not my world, but theirs.
I've been feeling quite complacent...so to anyone that feels ignored or neglected by me at the moment, please forgive me. I can't help my weird communicative nature.
Until next time I suppose. <3
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Participating
I hope to keep this honest and updated, but I can't make any promises. It's a rainy day in Modesto, and I can't help but not participate and dwell. My future prospects include deep participation, and with that in mind, I've become a bum. Ironic as it may seem.
I don't know what I'm heading into, and it makes me nervous and excited both at once. I've never blogged in this way before, but hopefully it will become a good way to keep family and friends somewhat updated on my travels..which I haven't started quite yet.
Many people I know have asked me why am I doing this. In return I have to ask why not? In a drowning world, should we not learn to swim? Sometimes I cry selfish tears, and sometimes, when I'm more aware of the world around me, my tears are for the sick, the hungry, the poor. Two years ago, I found myself reading the book "A Thousand Splendid Suns" and feeling like a spoiled ungrateful girl. Sad because I didn't have things I don't necessarily need. And it occurred to me that, not only were there less fortunate people around the world, but I was sitting there, well fed, in a nice home with a bed and warm sheets, and a loving and caring family, aware that there were people without these things and not doing a thing about it. And my unselfish tears were built inside me at that point. They never really went away.
I know this is a new chapter, and I know it'll be hard. But it's exactly the kind of challenge I'm willing to take. And I'm very grateful for this opportunity. There are a few things I need to do..practicalities. I must say my hello's and goodbyes. I must pack my things thoroughly, although I never quite understood "packing light." There's always something I tend to forget..and something I don't really need I tend to bring. I must make sure I fill out my forms, and mostly, I must make my mental preparations. I must open my heart and my mind to what I will soon experience. 10 months of participation. How's that for change Mr. President.
To the ones that care most: 10 months is a long time, but not forever. And this blog is for you.
I don't know what I'm heading into, and it makes me nervous and excited both at once. I've never blogged in this way before, but hopefully it will become a good way to keep family and friends somewhat updated on my travels..which I haven't started quite yet.
Many people I know have asked me why am I doing this. In return I have to ask why not? In a drowning world, should we not learn to swim? Sometimes I cry selfish tears, and sometimes, when I'm more aware of the world around me, my tears are for the sick, the hungry, the poor. Two years ago, I found myself reading the book "A Thousand Splendid Suns" and feeling like a spoiled ungrateful girl. Sad because I didn't have things I don't necessarily need. And it occurred to me that, not only were there less fortunate people around the world, but I was sitting there, well fed, in a nice home with a bed and warm sheets, and a loving and caring family, aware that there were people without these things and not doing a thing about it. And my unselfish tears were built inside me at that point. They never really went away.
I know this is a new chapter, and I know it'll be hard. But it's exactly the kind of challenge I'm willing to take. And I'm very grateful for this opportunity. There are a few things I need to do..practicalities. I must say my hello's and goodbyes. I must pack my things thoroughly, although I never quite understood "packing light." There's always something I tend to forget..and something I don't really need I tend to bring. I must make sure I fill out my forms, and mostly, I must make my mental preparations. I must open my heart and my mind to what I will soon experience. 10 months of participation. How's that for change Mr. President.
To the ones that care most: 10 months is a long time, but not forever. And this blog is for you.
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